Buy the mushies on special, or whatever.
They don't have to look too good. Two frypans. Put a heap of olive oil into a hot pan, place the fresh mushies in, stem down, put a lid on. Keep the heat up and fiddle as much as you like. For 5-10 minutes.
Then turn the heat down, lid on for about five, ten, until they go a bit soggy looking and have a lot of juice in the bottom. Salt them during this time.
Get your other nonstick frypan going. Hot. Bring over your soggy mushrooms and fry the hard, until they're as browned and sexy looking as you like.
Take them out, place them stems down onto tissue paper. Eat them hot or chill them. Either way you're a star.
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